I know that’s the thing about endings. It might seem ok, I might feel fine. Until I see him from across the way for the first time after and maybe he see me, but if he does.. he doesn’t show it. Instead he’s surrounded by friends and his smile is blinding and his eyes are bright. I feel like the world has collapsed in on my all of the sudden.
Like maybe I'm drowning, I can’t stop the waves from crushing the air out of my lungs or the tears from finding their way to my eyes. All I can do is bite my tongue and hope that the pain in my chest will subside just enough, so that when my friend asks if everything is ok I can manage a smile and laugh it off but I know in those moments all I want is to jump in my parents’ over chlorinated pool and sink to the bottom and find out if drowning could ever hurt this bad.
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